Christmas Letter

Dear All,

I don't usually write a Christmas letter, but I thought what with the blog and all I might make a stab at it this year. And just think; no trees were felled in the writing and delivery of this note (just all the coal-powered energy that it takes to run my computer and yours, and don't forget all the servers chugging away somewhere, and, well, the Starbucks cup that was necessitated to sit down and start this whole rant, but I digress) If you live nearby or have been following the blog, this won't be of much interest, but I did include the blog address in a few Christmas cards to people we don't talk to very often, so if you're one of those, this might be helpful. In the spirit of Christmas I shall recap:

This year, for those of you who are really out of the loop, our family grew by one as we adopted our third daughter from China. Her name is Grace HuaXue Hojnacki. HuaXue was her first name for the first twenty months of her life when she lived in an orphanage and with a wonderful foster family in the city of Nanning, Guangxi Province, in the south of China. She was born with a cleft lip and palate, and yes, we knew that when we adopted her. Her lip was repaired in China at the age of 11 months, and we have just recently undergone the palate repair surgery here in Grand Rapids. You can check out some of the previous posts to see how that is going. We celebrated her second birthday, shortly before the surgery, on Dec. 1st. She is (apart from our somewhat traumatic post-op period) a very good natured, happy little girl with a stubborn streak about a mile wide. She is thrilled to have two new big sisters who are equally thrilled to have her as their new "Mei Mei" (Chinese for little sister) Her name in Chinese means "Chinese Snow" so we think it's appropriate that she has landed here in Michigan.

We spent about two weeks in China at the end of July and beginning of August. We spent some time in Beijing, Nanning, Guangzhou and Hong Kong. Our good friend, Laura Drake, accompanied us part of the time and did some of her own traveling as well. We did get to meet Grace's foster family while we were there and they obviously loved her very much. It was clear by her development, that they had spent a lot of quality time with her. So we are very lucky to get to take up her care from this point on.

Sophie turned six this Fall and is in Kindergarten. She loves school and is very enthusiastic about learning to read and write. We're lucky to live very close to her school so that we can walk and ride bikes when the weather permits. She loves swimming and bike riding, navigates the computer like a pro, and has developed an affinity for Chinese food since Grace came home. She is a typical "first child," likes to be in charge, organizes all the younger kids into activities and can already generate a good eye roll combined with an exasperated "Mom!" or "Dad!" if we embarrass her in any way.

Lily is no longer our baby and boy doesn't she know it. Her favorite game right now is, "Let's pretend I'm a baby and you hear me say my first words!" She'll be turning four this Christmas Eve, but we have her convinced to wait and have her party on her half birthday in June. We got her hooked by promising a picnic, so now we just have to hope for good weather. She goes to pre-school three days a week, which she also loves and is just starting to write her name and a few other small words. She is also fulfilling her role of middle child with gusto. She is very social, outgoing and goofy as opposed to Sophie's more serious and responsible demeanor (although the two of them together can be goofier than anything either one of them can dream up on their own) Despite all of my efforts to the contrary, they are complete girly-girls who like to dress up, play My Little Pony, and have both asked Santa for a Barbie doll with wings and a mermaid's fin who I think rides on a unicorn to boot. Sigh. I have already been able to exert my power by convincing them that their Strawberry Shortcake books are (in their words now, not mine ;) "not very good writing" since 70 (that's right 70!!!!!!) exclamation points in one short bedtime story don't make for the best literature.

As far as Dave and I go, see above. That pretty much sums it up. We did manage a ski trip to Colorado last January and, of course, two weeks in China wasn't half bad. The girls stayed home with the grandparents, so we squeezed a little vacation time in along the way. We're still quite happy with Grand Rapids and Dave's job doesn't offer any sign that we would be going anywhere anytime soon, but who knows what the next year might bring. In addition to adopting Grace, our small attempt to "be the change we wish to see in the world" was to trade in Dave's car for a Toyota Prius Hybrid. It's a zippy little green hatchback which we are very pleased with, not the least because we're averaging about 50 MPG. The whole family is still very active in our church (although our church tends to take the word church rather loosely) It's an unafilliated, liberal place where our minister's sermons about the world in general, and George W. specifically, often cause controversy that reverberates on the op-ed pages of our paper for weeks here in conservative West Michigan. We've met a lot of kindred spirits there and are happy to continue stirring things up as much as we can.

That should catch everybody up for now. If you haven't been here before, feel free to browse through past posts if you want to catch up some more, and leave us a comment to let us know you were here! We wish each and every one of you a Great Christmas and a prosperous new year in every way possible!

Peace and Love to you all,

Susan

It's a Small World

When we checked in to the waiting room for Gracie's surgery, there was another little Chinese girl with a caucasian mom sitting across from us. It has become so common to see them , that I don't always even ask about them, but I could tell that this one also had a repaired cleft lip so I just asked if she was there for the same surgery as us. As it turned out, she was, and after asking about birthdays we determined that they were only a few days apart in age. The next standard question in these types of exchanges is which Province in China they are from. That brought us to find out that they were from the same city, Nanning.

We both kind of stared at each other for a second, and then it suddenly became clear that these two girls were not only from the same orphanage, but they had been listed together on the same special needs list from our agency, back when we chose them to be our daughters. What that essentialy means is that had either of us chosen the other one, we could have been raising each other's child. The other mom remembered Grace from the list and then I remembered that her daughter had also been pictured, but was already on hold when we saw the list for the first time. I remember her picture, because she was shown (as Grace was) with her unrepaired cleft lip and had a big smile on her face. It was quite an emotional moment.

She was scheduled for surgery the next day so we were able to go and visit her right before we went home and she had just come out of surgery. We exchanged emails so that we could get together once the girls were feeling better and are already trying to plan our first meeting. The final kicker to the whole story is that we have both determined that we have a picture of the two girls standing next to each other on the grounds of the orphanage in Nanning when they were probably about 14 or 15 months old. The orphanage gave us each a photo album when we adopted the girls with pictures they had on file from their stay there. Even though they were each in foster care, they went back to the orphanage for meetings and classes and that is probably when the photo was taken. You can obviously tell that it is both of them there in Nanning, and now here they are, destined to be friends in Michigan. It is quite mind boggling.

Meanwhile the recovery from palate surgery has taken a sharp downward spiral. For the past four to five days, Grace has decidied that she doesn't wasnt to have any of the liquids that we are offering her. Then she got a little stomach bug that had her throwing up, so we ended up back in the hospital for an i.v. She has completely shut down on us emotionally and has just had it with the whole thing. She doesn't understand why we won't give her food any more and is completely despondant. At this point the only thing she'll eat is popsicles and juice, so that's what we're giving her. I tried force-feeding for a day or two but it just wasn't happening. She cries for half-hour stretches at a time, not wanting to be held and just kicking and screaming if we try to do anything for her. It's not a pretty picture, but it's only for eight more days and then we can at least start with some baby food. Oh what a Merry Christmas that will be!!! Let's just say that this year our advent calendar is serving a dual purpose.

Susan

Surgery Update

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Grace made it through surgery with flying colors and is home recuperating now. She is currently sitting on my lap rocking out to her new electronic keyboard (and trying to add to this message!) Everythinyg (vvvg nm) went well and she is being quite the trooper. We came home Wednesday evening and she's been sleeping pretty well since then. She'll be on a total liquid diet for the next three weeks which hasn't (hbbbb g ga) been a problem until now as she hasn't felt that well, but now that she's perking up a bit she's starting to show an interest in food again which is going to be a problem! We'll post more later. I have to share the world's best "small world" story ever, when I have time.

Gracie's Two!!!

It's Grace's birthday today and to celebrate, our little "Chinese Snow" has brought us just that; an ice storm last night followed by a predicted 12 inches of snow today which is falling steadily and looks like it will live up to its billing. School has been cancelled so the morning play-date with the twins from Sophie's class has turned into five kids racing around the house just waiting to get bundled up and go outside. We are all decorated for Christmas already in anticipation of Grace's surgery next week. We thought it would be a good idea to get everything done before that since we'll all be a little sidelined for the next few weeks. The tubes in the ears and the unexpected root canal all went very smoothly. Can't really tell yet if there's any difference in her hearing but she has started to say "Mama" in the appropriate context, so we think there's something getting through. She also mouths the words "baby" and "bye-bye" but doesn't vocalize them yet.

She continues to amaze us all with her level of happiness. People who meet her for the first time can't believe how well adjusted she is. She goes easily to the nursery at church and doesn't even cry any more if a sitter comes and she sees me leave. She still gets really excited when there is a big group of people around, especially kids. Thanksgiving with Dave's family was a blast and she played with all the big kids, even let several strange relatives (double meaning there certainly not meant :-) pick her up. The biggest help is that she's starting to settle down around the house as far as what she's interested in and what she can touch. She understands more about what a toy is and what things are off limits. She understands if we say "no" or "don't touch" and doesn't have a problem with it. She's even left the Christmas tree and decorations mostly where they started out.

We switched bedrooms around as Sophie really wanted a turn sharing rooms with Grace and Lily was ready for a break. Now Grace is in Sophie's room and Lily got the double bed in hers. It seems to be working out fine. Sophie is a little more tolerant of all the noise Gracie makes when she's going to sleep and sleeps right through any fussing at night. We've been told to expect a long stretch of sleeplessness after the surgery, so I'm considering moving into the basement with Grace. I could sleep on the futon and we could put up the port-a-crib for Grace. That way we could also sanitize the area of sharp stuff and she and I could hang out down there when everyone else is eating. That's definitely going to be the hardest part about it: the eating. She'll be on a total liquid diet for the first three weeks, then a week of baby food, then two weeks of only soft stuff. The test for what passes as liquid is that it has to pass through a cheese cloth (if anybody has one of those any more) The hard part will be that this kid loves to eat. I think she'd sit in her highchair and eat all day if we'd let her. She also notices everything that I give to the other kids or eat myself. Forget trying to give them something and not her. She cranes her neck and points and starts throwing a fit the second you put it down in front of them. So obviously she is not going to be happy if she sees them eating away and is not allowed to join in; hence the basement idea.

We took her out for her first excursion in the snow today and she really liked it. When she first saw the kids getting their stuff on to go outside she went into the hat/glove basket and assembled her own ensemble (see rather gangster-like picture) Then I decked her out in everything and put her in the little sled. I pulled her up and down the street for a good half hour and she was smiling and dragging her mittens in the snow. It was coming down pretty heavy so by the end she had a nice dusting covering her hat and coat. She even liked to be pulled down the little hill in the neighbor's yard with all of the other neighborhood kids. I took pictures until the camera battery died, but I think I captured her first snow experience on her second birthday. How appropriate for little HuaXue (chinese snow) Her foster family sent many birhtday wishes by email today and told us that their other foster child, Grace's "little sister" is being adopted by a family in Spain and will be leaving them on Dec. 18th. How funny to think that she will be growing up speaking Spanish while Grace is here speaking English and they both started out together in China. It is a strange world we live in.

Funny birthday story: Yesterday we received a card from Dave's Aunt and Uncle in South Bend and I remember thinking "that's a really nice card," because let's be honest, greeting cards aren't always the most memorable of works of art, but this one was really sweet with a nice little rhyming story and a pop-up flower on the inside. So today two cards came for Grace in the mail; one from my Mom and Dad and one from my Aunt. Our mail gets delivered directly through a slot in the front door and the girls always run to get it as soon as it comes in, so they found the cards right away and asked if they could open them for Grace. Sophie opened hers first and we all started laughing because it was the same card we had gotten the day before, and then Lily started yelling because she opened hers and it was also the same card! So I guess everyone agreed with me that it really was a nice card :-)

It has been noted by several dogged blog followers that Dave does not appear in any of the pictures posted since we returned from China. Even the foster family asked, "what has happened to Grace's father, Dawei?" So in response I have made it a point to post a picture that includes Dave. You may all rest assured that Dave still exists.

If you're wondering about the picture of the big ship, that is the Queen Mary 2 arriving at the port in Hamburg to be repaired. Some of you may not know that I took a quick, five day visit to Hamburg last month to surprise a dear friend, who is not in the best of health, for his birthday. While I was there the "Queen" arrived and it was quite the happening. She came in around 8:00 p.m. and there were thousands of people lining the port just to catch a glimpse. It is an astonishingly large ship. It's probably hard to tell from the pictures, but those buildings looking dwarfed at her side are not as small as she makes them look. Anyway, it was an event to say the least. I had a very nice, but too brief visit with the Fahls, who were sort of my family away from home when I lived in Hamburg. We celebrated Lothar's birthday and had lots of Kaffee und Kuchen. Edda and I got to wander around the city for a day and visit all of the old hang-outs. We even found the Seebeck, the ship Dave and I were married on. It was hard to say good-bye as Lothar has been diagnosed with a cancer that is not treatable and I will probably not see him again, but we all did surprisingly well and it meant a lot to all of us that we got to have that good-bye.

We'll try to keep you posted about Grace's progress after the surgery. Keep us in your thoughts on Tuesday (and Wednesday, and Thursday....) Happy Holidays!

Susan