Special Delivery

So the big day has finally arrived and we can breathe a big sigh of relief. It wasn't nearly as bad as we had prepared ourselves for, in fact it went pretty amazingly well.

We arrived at the Civil Affairs Office with our guide, Lily about ten minutes early so they led us into a room to wait. It had wooden floors and several big, plastic play structures, so it was obviously meant for this sort of occasion. From the next room we could hear a little girl crying hysterically. Of course we assumed it was Grace. Someone was walking her up and down the hallway, speaking to her in Chinese and trying to calm her down. We waited and listened some more, telling ourselves that this was normal and it was what we had prepared ourselves for. We asked Lily how many times she had been present for an event like this and she said she didn't know how often, but never for a baby who was this upset. Great.

Then a woman appeared leading a little girl by the hand who was happy and excited, with her suitcase in hand and dressed in a traditional red silk outfit. Dave jumped up with the video camera but it was not Grace. It was a three year old who knew she was going to her new family and couldn't wait to get there. As it turned out she is staying across the hall from us in our hotel and will be going home to Louisiana...orVirginia? I forget. Anyway, they had come into the room by mistake and soon left. Next door the crying continued. My palms were very sweaty. Lily went out to check. Then we heard a "squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak" coming from the hallway. It stopped and started again. Then it got louder. Lily appeared and told us that the crying baby was not Grace but another little girl who had just met her family next door. Then Grace and two women from the orphanage entered the room.

She was wearing the traditional Chinese "squeaky shoes" which kids wear to encourage them to learn how to walk by squeaking with each step. She was wearing a red "Hello Kitty" dress with a pink collar. Her hair was in a little pony tail sticking straight up on top and tied in a big, red scrunchy. She had two things around her neck: a jade heart pendant on a red string and a Mickey Mouse toy cell phone that opened and played music when you pushed the buttons. She looked very calm and the ladies encouraged her to come to us. She squeaked over and handed me a small nut, a kind of local fruit. I held out the doll that I had brought for her but she didn't seem to know what to do with it. She stood and checked us out and pretty soon the ladies from the orphanage left saying, "take good care of the baby!" We promised that we would.

Lily took a picture and I put Grace on my lap. Then she said we were through and we could go back to the hotel. The whole thing took about 5 minutes. Of course there would be more paperwork later, but that was it for the hand-off. So I picked her up and off we went. She was still very calm and just checking everything out.

We drove back to the hotel and walked across the lobby where the family with the crying baby was taking pictures. The baby was still crying. We went up to the room and Lily had us sign some more papers including pressing our thumb print in red ink next to our signature. Then we had to take an "official picture" for something or other and that is when the crying began.

They wanted us to sit very close together on the bed and hold her up between us. She didn't like that and started crying. We managed to get a picture that they approved of and then everybody left and it was just us. The crying continued. I think it was about now that she realized what a dirty trick her friends from the orphanage had played on her and she was none too happy about it. From what I have read and the people I have talked to though, it was all very normal and not too extreme. She still allowed me to hold her and could sometimes be distracted with a book or a toy. She liked the lift-the-flap books and was very good at doing them herself. We stacked and unstacked some plastic cups and she kept pushing the buttons on her Mickey phone. I couldn't help but wonder if her foster family hadn't given her that as if to say, "you can always call us if you need to talk."

Then right in the middle of a bout of crying she fell almost instantaneously asleep on my shoulder. I sat down on the bed and she slept like that for about an hour. Dave went out and got some noodles since we knew she must be hungry, but she was out before he got back with them. When she woke up we tried feeding her the various things they had told us she liked but she wasn't interested. Her "instructions" said she went to bed around ten o'clock and it was nine thirty so we put her p.j.s on and sat her in her crib. She sat quietly and just watched us. She seems fascinated by Dave (that or terrified, we don't know which) but she won't let him hold her yet.

I laid down on the bed right next to her crib and closed my eyes to show her it was time to sleep, but she just looked at me, so I layed her back and put the covers on. In about 10 minutes she was out and slept all night until eight o'clock this morning.

So far today we have only had one brief crying spell. She wants to be held by me the whole time. Once when I went into the bathroom she stood up and pointed and held her arms out. We took that as a good sign. At breakfast she ate congee and eggs by herself with a spoon held perfectly in her left hand. She has started pointing at things and making noises, although her sheet said she doesn't speak any words yet. We've gotten exactly two smiles today and lots of eye contact. She doesn't seem to know what to do with a bottle and her info said she drinks formula from a cup, but she did let me feed her some jarred baby food this afternoon.

We had to go back to the Civil Affairs office to finish paperwork today. The crying baby was back as well, still crying. There was a brief ceremony where they asked us if we still wanted her, basically. We said yes, gave them lots of money (which they made a point of promising would only be spent to support the orphans still in the orphanage) and were off again. Lily took us to a supermarket to get some clothes and baby food and then back to the hotel for a nap. Grace fell asleep right away and slept for a good two hours. Dave went out to explore and I stayed here and did this.

Update: She woke up from the nap about two hours ago and has absolutely blossomed! She has completely explored/demolished the room, took everything out of the shopping bags and handed it to us, colored on paper and herself with markers, made her way through half a canister of banana rice puffs, moved her pile of toys from one side of the room to the other about five times and discovered her image in the mirror (very much in love, many kisses) She's smiling and active, handing us everything and has even started to laugh and babble. It's truly amazing; I'd heard it could happen but until I saw it with my own eyes I couldn't believe it; truly amazing. We know there will be times when she will still grieve for her foster family, but we feel that the bonding process has begun and should continue. We will be visiting the orphanage on Thursday and they said they would call the foster family and invite them to come there to meet us. Even though we know it will be dificult, we believe it will be what's best for her in the long run. When she is older and asks us who took care of her in China we will be able to tell her for sure and we think that will be important. The foster family did send along some pictures for her to keep as well as the single-use camera we sent them.

Today she let Dave pick her up once without crying but she still won't leave my sight. As I am typing she is playing at my feet, babbling and handing me things. The handing seems to be a big deal.

So that's it. We're just hanging out and waiting until Friday when her Chinese Passport will be ready and we will fly to Guangzhou for the American end of the deal. Thanks for all the emails and words of encouragement. It means a lot to us!